Monday, March 29, 2010

torn

I am sitting here, fighting a panic attack at the thought of having to return to teach for the last six weeks of school. I know in my head that its only six weeks, but those seem like they could be the longest six weeks of my life. I feel like I'm the one that should be caring for my precious girl each day, not someone else. What if I miss something? What if I can't pump enough milk to keep her going? What if I can't find enough time in my day to pump? What if she won't take formula if that happens? How am I going to make it through the day when she still won't let me sleep more than four to five hours a night? How am I going to effectively teach 31 third graders each day and still have enough in me to devote time to my two kiddos?

I'm at a loss and my heart hurts just thinking about it.

5 comments:

SandK+K said...

It's rough...but you can do it! And your timing is great because summer is almost here! Besides...the kids are very forgiving to a sleepless teacher and will do whatever to keep you happy.

Ryan, Christy, and Landen said...

Oh Katie I so know what you're going through. :( I'm physically ill over having to return to work and I don't know if I'm capable of doing it. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to go off the deep end. Having to leave Jackson is going to be the hardest thing I'll ever do. Hang in there and I'll be praying for the both of us. :)

Kyle said...

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way Katie! You are an amazing mom, teacher, wife, and friend, and because of that, you will be able to balance it all the best you know how. Something may have to give a little, and because you love your family so much, I know you will make the right choice in what you need to let slide a little. It may be a long 6 weeks, but then it will be over and you will be back at home with your precious babies! Take a deep breath and know you are doing an amazing job and your children are blessed to have a mommy who cares like you do :)

Jill said...

You will do great! It's very hard to leave when they are so little and it's okay to cry every day for a week or more. Just try to remember that most of her day is spent sleeping so you aren't missing much. Start using File 52 more and make a promise to yourself to not bring work home with you anymore. Six weeks is only two phase 1's, a phase 2 and a phase 3-piece of cake!

Belinda Berling said...

I can only imagine how you must feel. But like others have said, 6 weeks will go quickly and then you will be home all summer with your babies.